Andrea Nordling 0:00
Oh my goodness, my friend so much to share this week. I’m so glad you’re here. Thank you for being here. By the way, I appreciate you. And I am really looking forward to breaking down today’s topic. But before we get into that, see I’m already all over the place highly caffeinated. What that means, I don’t usually talk much about my personal life. But I have been getting a lot of questions lately about this. So maybe I should change that a little bit and give you some more context, like about the intersection of my business and my actual life behind the scenes, which is what takes up most of my time. If you don’t know this about me, let me be very honest, I don’t actually work that much. I love my work. I’m very focused and intentional about my work time, I think about my clients a lot. I spend a lot of time really deeply thinking about the work that I do. But I’m not necessarily behind my desk a lot of the time. So that leaves a lot of time in my life for doing other things that I enjoy. At this exact moment. We are transitioning from as a family from being a traveler’s and living the Gypsy life. Again, if you don’t know this about me, my husband and I, a little while two years ago, I want to say a little less than two years ago, actually, about two years ago, in the summer of 2020, decided to sell our house, what we thought was our dream house on 10 acres with lots of room to roam outside to go travel in an RV, which is the opposite of living on 10 acres with lots of room to roam about that, except actually, we made it quite similar. We have spent a lot of time in places where we could be outside most of the time, and have had lots of outside adventures. So it although seems like very, very ironic that one would go from loving their space to living in an RV, we actually have found ways to have lots of space. So all that to say, we have been living the best of both worlds, when we decided that we were going to sell our house and to hit the road. We knew like things were weird, in the pandemic of the writing was on the wall, the kids weren’t going to be going back to school, we just kind of wanted to opt out of the whole experience. To be honest, we just didn’t really want any part of all the masks and all the things. So we set it up, we’re gonna make an adventure, sold the house hit the road, figured out how to work remotely. And the rest is history, which has been so fun that when we made that decision, my dad who lives in a big beautiful house alone, he lives alone. He said, Okay, that’s it, you’re moving all your stuff in here, this is your home base, whenever you whenever you’re back in Minnesota is home for us, whenever you’re back in Minnesota, this is your home, which is phenomenal. So we have been for the last two years on the road. And then when we want to come back, especially in the summertime, which is beautiful here. I’m recording this from Minnesota right now, in an spare office in my dad’s house that my dad, we have been able to come to our home base, which is home for us with all of our own bedrooms, and bathrooms and beds and all of that stuff, and regroup and spend a lot of time here for events for weddings for graduations, and for county fairs and vacations and summertime like days and all the fun stuff. And then we get to just take off whenever we want to. So we’ve had the best of both worlds, it’s been fantastic. However, we have decided that it’s time to put down some routes, again, all of this to say that we are going to be moving into our own house. In the next month, we’re waiting for the sellers to be moving into a house that they’re building. So it’s a little up in the air on the exact timeline for when their builder has it finished. But it’s going to be by July 1 at the latest we’re going to be moving into our own space, which is a little closer to the majority of our family and kind of our community that we want to be plugged into, we’re ready to plug back in to society a little bit. And I’m going to be honest, I’m having a hard time with some parts of it. Have you ever seen someone with a tattoo like a bird cage with the door open. And it just says some birds can’t be caged? I think about this all the time. That like sums me up, I don’t actually really like birds. But for some reason something about the cage door. Being open some birds just can’t be caged makes me feel like it’s just summing up my experience here right now. So
Andrea Nordling 4:05
in a lot of ways, I’m very excited that we are going into a new chapter, we’re now going to figure out how to plug back in on a lot of levels, but also keep the freedom to travel and to just be gypsies whenever we want to ongoing, one of the things that’s probably going to be happening is still it’s a daily discussion around here. But one thing that’s probably going to be happening is the kids are gonna be going back to public school. And I have a lot of thoughts about that. And I have a lot of concerns about that, to be honest. And that’s an entirely different podcast episode or like 20 of them. But we won’t focus on that for today. But let’s just say this is a daily conversation and debate here. So anyway, we’re gonna figure out how to maybe make that happen for them, which they really, really would like and to also keep our freedom to travel and to have lots of adventures as a family and do all of the fun stuff that we’ve been doing for the last two years. So that’s a little update on me What’s going on, we are putting down roots, I’m gonna have a new office to be working in, she’s going to be exciting. I like I said, I’ve been so grateful to be able to have a home base to work in, I have recorded videos for my program inside of an RV, I have rented rental cottages and filmed videos, I have done coaching calls from inside the RV, I have done many a training and videos and coaching calls from inside this office at my dad’s house. And I’m looking forward to just like having a little change of space, kind of like rearranging the furniture. And like moving things around a little bit. I’m looking forward to doing that having some new, new, I don’t know what new, something new, some of the new is going to be happening. I’m excited about setting up my new office and having a new backdrop and new, fresh, kind of like a fresh vantage point. So that’s what I’m looking forward to. Alright, that’s, I mean, that’s six minutes of your life, you’ll never again. But at least you know where I’m at what’s going on. And you might have some questions about it. I know a lot of people do. So here is what I want to roll out to you. Try something new, we’re gonna do some rapid fire q&a, you can send in any questions to me that you have about RV Life, running a remote business on the road to the Gypsy life homeschooling, business strategy, mindset questions, structuring your business for ultimate flexibility, whatever it is, you name it, any questions that you have, as you listen to these podcasts episodes, and you have something that comes up you’re like, I really wish you would do an episode about that. Whatever that is, ask it. I am going to do some upcoming unfiltered q&a, where I will be answering questions rapid fire, but I’m also going to take some questions and do some deep dive episodes on the most recurrent theme questions that come up. So here’s what you need to do to submit your question. Go to speak pipe.com/ask Andrea. And that is also going to be linked up in the show notes here. So you can grab that link from the show notes. It is SpeakPipe SPE a K p IP e.com/ask. Andrea? One word. All right. And on there, it’s just going to have you record yourself asking the question, and then you hit submit, and I’ll be able to get the question, pull it off and answer it in an upcoming episode, which is going to be really fun. And like I said, for some of those questions that the answer is not so rapidfire make it a whole podcast episode answering that question. Again, all things questions about mindset, lifestyle, business strategy, whatever you got. Now one of those things kind of a good transition, one of the things that comes up a lot are questions about imposter syndrome, and how to get past impostor syndrome and how to deal with the ugly, scary big scenario of feeling like an impostor when it comes to your business. And it comes to helping people. We have done several episodes about this, because it’s a big topic. And there’s a lot of different facets of it, there’s a lot of angles to come at it from. So we’ve had many different discussions about impostor syndrome. And if you need to go back if you are new to the podcast, or if you want a refresher on these episodes, 1519 and 25, we really dug deep on three ways imposter syndrome can and does show up for your health and wellness business, as a business owner, what does that look like? And you can go back and listen to those for a refresher, you will get lots of gems from all of the different nuances that we’ve already looked at, when it comes to this big, huge topic. Do you hear the sarcasm I have here, it’s probably not a problem. And that’s what we’re going to talk about today actually, is how this big problem of imposter syndrome, which seems like it’s such a huge thing that needs to be dealt with, and it needs to be figured out and it needs to be we need to move past this imposter syndrome before we can have success. And before we can actually be an expert, or sell to people or help people or make offers to them and say those words I can help you seems like such a big thing. And I have to say I don’t think it’s a problem at all. So we’re talking about today. In fact, I think if you have feelings of imposter syndrome, it’s a good thing. We’re gonna talk more about that in a second. But for this episode, this is part four of this ongoing impostor syndrome discussion, I
Andrea Nordling 9:05
wanted to talk specifically about at least in the beginning here about where impostor syndrome comes from, like, really, why does it happen? What is this thing? Why does it show up? Why does it show up in different ways and in different stages for different people? Because we all have our own special flavor of imposter syndrome. And if it doesn’t hit you in the beginning, it can come later on in your business, and it might show up in the beginning. You’ll never deal with it again. different people, different scenarios. Why is that? Like actually why does that happen? I have an answer for you. Here’s the reason that I believe this is it’s because the feelings that accompany impostor syndrome, namely inadequacy, this feeling of inadequacy or being an imposter, it’s only felt when you’re doing big new things. When you say safe and you play small and you’re in your comfort zone. You do not feel this inadequacy. It does not show up, at least not in the same way. It’s you wouldn’t call it impostor syndrome. Really think about this, this feeling of being inadequate, not being an expert not being ready that, Oh, not me, I’m a fraud. Everyone’s about to find out that I have no idea what I’m doing over here. Where are the grown ups that feeling that inadequacy? That only happens when you’re doing big new things. Now, for me, I’ve experienced impostor syndrome very acutely, several times. And as I look back, it’s always been when I was stepping into a new stage of growth. In some area, we’re gonna talk about business growth here, obviously, because that’s what this podcast is about. But impostor syndrome shows up all over in your life, in any big stage of growth, you may very well have an accompanying experience of imposter syndrome. Again, we’re gonna talk about business here. So I’m gonna tell you, I can for sure, remember instances of this when I was stepping into a new stage of growth, when I was asking more of myself, and not asking more like output wise, not external, asking more, I need to do more, I need to do more. Not necessarily that although sometimes, in my hustle tendency, from years gone past, that would be what it looks like. But like when I was really when I see this, and I can be introspective about it. impostor syndrome shows up when I was stepping into a new self concept. So when I talk about growth, I don’t even necessarily mean monetary growth, although that can certainly be a symptom of it. But it’s like the self concept growth, like when I was asking myself to become a new version of me, then the imposter syndrome would show up. In the early days of my holistic nutrition practice. I felt very strongly there was like a roller coaster. Some days, it was like, I got this, this is amazing. Everybody needs to know this. Look out, I’m coming. Then there would be the Swift crash. This can even happen hour by hour. Sometimes you know what I’m talking about? Where was like, I don’t know enough yet. Oh, my gosh, they’re going to totally expose me for the fraud that I am. Because they’re gonna find out I actually eat pizza sometimes. And it’s all this is terrible. This is they’re all They’re going to know. They’re going to know I’m not perfect. I am not an expert. Who am I to be talking about this? I don’t even know what the process is. I’m going to help people with exactly they’re going to stump me. Oh, my gosh, I can’t do it. And then it will be back up to I got this. No, it’s okay. It’s okay. I totally know what to do. I can help anybody. There’s really just some foundational stuff I can help them with, it’s going to be great. And then crash back down to who am I to be doing this? Who am I? Why me? How can it How could I even have the nerve to think that I could be telling people about nutrition? How can I even do that? And it was up and down, up and down? That’s what impostor syndrome looked like. For me in my early days of my nutrition practice, can you relate? We probably can. And if you can’t, maybe yours has showed up a little bit differently, your flavors a little bit different. But what was happening there is that I was stepping into an unknown chapter of my life. I was stepping into a new self concept. I was requiring my identity. And what I felt like what who I was in this world the way I was experiencing myself to change a little bit. At least that’s what it felt like, was I actually changing? No, still me, same thing. But I felt like that’s what was happening. I felt like I was taking off an old skin and stepping into a new one. Kind of a weird way to say that, you know what I’m talking about, like, that’s what I was experiencing was I was stepping into this new person, this new identity, this new self concept that I was now in a new industry in a business that I had never done before. I was facing new scenarios where I wasn’t sure exactly what to expect. And that accompany thoughts. There were a lot of imposter thoughts. My brain offered me lots of thoughts about how I wasn’t good enough. I didn’t know enough. But guess what? Of course it did. That’s what our brains do. And my brain was doing the most brilliant thing it could do at that time, which was just to keep me safe. Nothing has gone wrong here. This is what our brains do. It just wants to keep us safe. And that’s what mine was doing. It said, Okay, I see what’s happening here. I’m going to really help you out.
Andrea Nordling 13:58
This is the brilliant solution to this problem where you’re very uncomfortable, I’m just going to keep you safe. I want to keep you at the same place. I want to keep you in the same comfort zone. I don’t want you to stray from that stay safe here, the risk is low to maintain the status quo that you’re at, stay here. We can just be happy here. Okay, that’s what was my brain was doing. And that’s what the imposter syndrome thoughts are and the accompanying inadequacy and self doubt that comes from that. That’s what it is. It’s just like our brain doing this brilliant thing where it says, Okay, let’s just stay safe. Let’s not put ourselves out there. Let’s not face rejection, let’s not face disappointment, let’s not face uncertainty. Let’s just stay very safe. That’s what we want to do. So the fact that I was having lots of thoughts, that I was going to be found out as a fraud, and a total imposter, any minute now, it was imminently coming. That was actually great. It was a sign I was growing. My capacity for discomfort and uncertainty was growing. And when I look back on it, I can so clearly see I had done this before. I actually had a lot of experience with this. I had grown in a business, a big business in an industry before that. At one point, I had no business being in. I started selling real estate before I ever had bought a house before. I didn’t know the terminology. I didn’t know the process. I, I was a baby at 22 years old, but I did it. I think a lot of people would agree I was an actual impostor. It wasn’t just impostor syndrome thoughts. I think it’s almost a universal truth that we could say it was an actual imposter at age 22, selling houses to people. But I got past that I grew into someone that wasn’t an imposter. I got the experience I proved to my brain, I could do hard things, and then I could figure it out. And I got to that next level of me. And I graduated to where I wasn’t an imposter. I didn’t even have thoughts that I was an impostor anymore. In fact, I was really freaking good at selling houses, I was really good at running a business, I was really good at managing people. So we’re all things that at one point I had never done before and had a lot of impostor thoughts about myself, believe me, my self concept was not there. Until it was until I had actually done it. And then it became a comfortable place, it became my new baseline. And that’s just how our brains work. What is super uncomfortable right now will at some point in the future, just be the baseline. And you’ll take it for granted. Of course, it’s just what I do. It’s not even a question. So feeling the inadequacy and feeling the fear of failure and feeling the fear of rejection and exposure and visibility. And all of those things, all that uncertainty that comes with it, that’s a slurry of imposter syndrome. All of that was actually means that I’m growing. And for you, it means you’re growing means that you’re, you’re moving into that next stage, you’re moving into that next version of you, your self concept is like taking a second to catch up, but you’re going there, like I’m going into uncharted territory right now. And that’s actually a good thing. Because I’m doing something meaningful, I’m doing something that means something to me, I’m taking a risk here because it’s necessary and because I want to be doing it. That’s what it means when you’re having these imposter syndrome. Bots means your capacity for discomfort, and for uncertainty is growing. That’s not a bad thing. I think that’s actually a fantastic thing. So if you’ve thought until now that this feeling of impostor syndrome was like a big problem that you need to solve, so that you could keep moving forward, like it’s a big boulder in the way of your path, I want you to think about it differently. I want you to think about how actually this is serving me. This impostor syndrome feelings and thoughts that surround it are actually reminding me that I’m doing something really important that I’m growing here, that I’m doing something meaningful that I’m stepping into the next version of me, this is cool, this discomfort, because discomfort, this is like something you might want to write down. Discomfort is the currency of our dreams, we actually pay for our dreams with discomfort is the exchange, the discomfort is the currency of our dreams. And our brains want it to be either or, by the way, you may notice this in your own thought patterns, your brain wants it to be either or it’s all or nothing. Our brains want to do this a lot. But this all or nothing thinking. So when you think about this, and if you have never looked at it through this lens, it’s probably what you just took for granted as being a universal truth, that you’re either an expert, or you’re an impostor. Those are the only two options. This is what our brain wants to do. Like, okay, here are the two choices, you’re either an expert at what you’re doing for your business, it’d be like you’re an expert nutritionist. And if you are not that, then you clearly must be an imposter. If you don’t have the self concept of identifying as an expert, then of course, your brain is going to tell you, by default, you’re an impostor, because those are the only two options, which is just a thought error. Just a very common thought error. By the way, this all or nothing thinking this either, or these are the two choices. That’s it. That’s what our brains love to do. It’s just a very well defined pattern that we have. But it’s a total thought error. It’s not true. It’s not either, or, there’s a whole world in between called and
Andrea Nordling 18:52
not or. And so what I want you to do is be both I want you to be an imposter and an expert all at the same time. You can be both and like, think of the Venn diagram of experts and imposter. And they sit in there like five miles apart from each other, and then bring them together and actually see that there’s a huge intersection in the middle. That’s most of it. And that’s where you’re living. Right now. It’s totally available right now you’re in the end, you’re an imposter and an expert, like all of us are in feeling like an impostor, sometimes not a problem. But you also have to give yourself equal airtime to explore how you are an expert as well. So that’s where the key here is, this is what I want to teach you do this exercise. And like actually do this exercise, you’re going to get a piece of paper and a pen, you’re going to do this thing, which is just to get out on paper, like set a timer for five minutes and just let yourself write all of the ways that you’re a total fraud. I want you to just go nuts, let your brain go crazy with all of the ways that you are a complete imposter, then you’re a total fraud and you’re about to be Found out any second by everyone. Let your brain give all of these dramatic thoughts about how this is true. Okay, write it all down. And then you’re gonna take out a fresh piece of paper. And this is the part that many people don’t do. They entertain this, how it’s all going wrong, and they’re an imposter. And it’s not right, and they have a problem they need to fix and all of this that that is common, your brain will be very well rehearsed in that that activity, like how everything is going wrong. But now what you’re going to do is you’re going to give equal airtime to all the ways that it’s not true. So you can take out a fresh piece of paper, you’re gonna set the timer for five minutes again, and like a prosecutor preparing for trial, you are going to write down all the ways that you’re not an impostor. Like all the ways that you’re already there, all the ways that this isn’t true, you’re going to disprove everything that you wrote before, like an attorney, that is presenting an argument against it. Okay, you’re going to look at all of the ways that you’re actually an expert, as if you are the attorney going to trial to say, no, no, we’re actually an expert right now. And here’s why. give evidence create all of it disprove everything you wrote before, like, your life depends on it go even deeper, I’m gonna challenge you to go even deeper and think of possibilities for you and for your business, and for your clients. When you spend more time in this land of confidence, where you actually do have evidence that you’re an expert, this is the end, like, I am feeling like an impostor. But I am also feeling like an expert. And here’s how, and you’re giving equal airtime, to all of the ways that the imposter thoughts are not true, and that there’s actually other things available. That’s what you’re doing. The reason that this is so critical is because you are training your brain to disprove the thoughts that just feel so true, these default thoughts that just feel like Oh, of course, that’s we believe that we’ve thought it many times we believe that it must be true, you’re training your brain to question it, you’re training your brain to see the other side and go, What if that wasn’t true. And this is how you build your belief in yourself and in your clients and in your offer that you’re selling to them. And in the long term success of your business, you’re grabbing onto these little pieces of evidence for how it is possible for it, how it already is working for how you already are the person that does these things. And that has the self concept to do them even more and even better, and how you’re already growing so much, and how you’re already the perfect person to work with your clients and how you’re already an expert in so many different ways that they need help for you to lead them with whatever that is for you. Whatever comes up in your why you’re an imposter, you’re gonna be creating all of the evidence for how that’s actually not true. And you’re training your brain to look for just a minute here. Is that true? Is there a way I could prove that that maybe isn’t the only way to look at it? And this is where you build those beliefs, you create evidence for what is also true in that land of and not just that either or you’re in this Venn diagram, and everything in between? It’s like, oh, yes, okay, well, this could also be true. And then those beliefs grow. And then your brain over time, defaults to those thoughts. Like, what if this was true? What if this was easier? What if this was simpler? What if I already know exactly what I need to know right now?
Andrea Nordling 23:22
What if I’m exactly in the right place? And I’m not behind? What if everything I already have created is enough right now? What if I don’t need to do any more behind the scenes? setting up shop? That’s a big one for a lot of people. What if, what if that wasn’t true? And you start to question it, and you know what happens? Your business grows quickly, you move past these obstacles that realize, Oh, that wasn’t actually an obstacle like this whole imposter thought, imposter syndrome, Boulder that’s standing in the path, and you’re like, Oh, I get it. That’s just a it’s like a signpost that says you’re on the right path. And then we just walk around it. It’s not a big deal. You don’t need to try to, to dynamite blow it up and make it go away. You can just see oh, yeah, that’s an indication I’m doing something really worthwhile here. Awesome. I see what’s happening here, Brian, you just want me to stay safe. Just want me to say in this very familiar area, because that feels a lot more familiar. And right now I’m asking you to grow. And to go into this unknown place where our soil or self concept is changing a little bit. There’s some unknowns and some discomfort there and you’re just having some resistance to it. It’s okay. With Dell. I see what’s happening here. Thank you, Brian. Thank you for that. But here’s what we’re going to do now. And the way you do that is by creating giving equal airtime and creating evidence for all of the ways that it’s actually not a problem and that you actually are an expert. Get yourself into that expert energy. This will change so much in your business and I mean truly in every area of your life, but for sure in your business. If you make this a practice that you can. You don’t need to resist all of these thoughts that you think are not useful. All of the imposter thoughts, all of the I’m not enoughness, you don’t need to resist those those thoughts are there, let’s just see them, put them on paper, write them down, see what’s going on there. Pretending that they don’t exist doesn’t make them disappear from your brain. It’s like shoving leftovers to the back of the fridge and then the fridge starts to stink, you realize, oh, just because I shoved them to the back there doesn’t mean that they’re not there. They’re still festering in the back that same thing with your thoughts. So you want to list them out? Look at them, acknowledge them say, okay, Brian, I understand what’s going on here. I see. I see why you believe that. Now, we’re also going to give equal airtime to all the ways those aren’t true, that those are just thought errors, that those are thoughts that are keeping us very comfortable, and in a familiar place. But we’re growing now. And here’s what’s important, you creating that evidence, and you’re creating that new, like, actually, what is happening here is it’s creating a new channel physically in your brain and new neural pathways being created. Instead of going in that well worn thought pattern that you’ve done many times before, that goes to the imposter place, you’re carving out this new little path, it’s like, well, what if that wasn’t true? What if I didn’t have to think that right now, what if that wasn’t the only way to look at this, that’s what you’re doing. So good. I see some clients that I work with, and some things that we coach on inside my program come up with thoughts that are very human thoughts, very common, nothing has gone wrong, they feel very acute and very problematic in the moment, but really nothing has gone wrong, a lot of them are versions of I don’t think I can actually get help people get the results that they want. As well as, like sometimes at the end of it’s like as well as blank. Other experts are like as well as this type of practitioner something like that. Like I just don’t know if I can actually help people get the results they want don’t know, which inspires a feeling of hesitancy and feeling really inadequate. As you can imagine thinking that thought, I don’t think I can actually help them. I’m not sure about this, ah, thinks someone else could do it better. Well, of course, that’s going to make you feel hesitant. Of course, that’s going to make you feel inadequate. And what happens when you’re feeling hesitant and inadequate in your business. Of course, you don’t make offers to help people you don’t say the words I can help you. You shy away from that you shy away from those conversations. You shy away from putting yourself into a position where someone might ask for your help or expertise, kind of avoid those back off. You don’t write copy. You don’t send out emails, you don’t network, you don’t you just don’t put yourself in a place where someone might ask for your expertise, because you don’t feel that you have it. Right. A lot of times for people that are in in this cycle, what they do is they over research. So they think that the solution is okay, if I don’t think I can help people get the results for sure I need to go learn something else. So they’ll spend times on podcasts and books and trainings and more learning, learning, learning learning, I gotta go learn more to get out of this cycle, instead of just deciding that it’s not a problem. And they actually can help people. I’m telling you, that’s the shortcut is just rewiring this thought pattern by creating evidence for how you actually how the opposite is actually true. And going going through that exercise I gave you a second ago, where you’re like, Okay, I see what’s happening here is I’m thinking I don’t actually know how to help people get the results they want. What if that wasn’t true, let
Andrea Nordling 28:18
me spend an equal amount of time creating evidence for myself and for my own brain on this piece of paper of how that actually isn’t true and how that’s false. And I’m gonna prove that like a prosecutor in court, I’m going to create evidence rather, that isn’t true. And when you do that, that’s the shortcut. But we don’t necessarily feel like it in the moment, it feels like the shortcut is to go learn more. And to go become an expert, instead of just talking to real humans that already need your help. And saying the words I can help you and believing I can help this person, right now I can actually help people, I’m gonna figure this out. And you also in this time, when you’re in this cycle, you don’t follow up with leads, like it’s all about hiding and avoiding the conversations where you could be exposed as not being an expert. I think that that’s what happens in our brain. It’s like, I don’t even want to put myself in this situation where I could be exposed as a fraud. I’m such an imposter here. I need to go learn more instead of putting myself in a situation where someone may question my expertise. You’re not asking past clients for referrals, you’re not following up with leads of people who have already shown interest, none of that is happening. And of course, when none of that’s happening, because you’re feeling hesitant and inadequate, you don’t help people get any results. You’re like proving this thought through. And this is what our brains do. We like to create evidence to support to prove true our thoughts. So the thought initially here was I don’t think I can actually help people get the results they want. I’m scared about that. I don’t think I can actually do it. And then through all of the actions that you take in avoidance that happens, you don’t help people get any results and you prove it right. And then your brains like See, I told you, we can actually help people get results. I knew that was the case. But really That’s not what happened, what happened is you just proved your thought true. So the solution here isn’t to go do more researching it isn’t to go learn more it isn’t to go become more of an expert, the solution is to change your thought about your expertise and about the imposter thoughts in the first place. So what I suggest to a lot of my clients, we coach on this a lot, and what I suggest to them, and what I see instantly will shift someone out of this. And they will go, like, I mean, their business is like a light switch. It’s like the room is dark. And then we can turn off that unhelpful thought that I just showed you and turn on this new one. And it’s like turning on that light switch, all of a sudden, the lights are on it’s go time, and things take off very quickly. And here’s the thought, I know I can help at least one person right now. It’s very simplified. I know I can help at least one person right now. Whereas before, it was, I don’t think I can actually help people get the results they want. And it’s like this big thing. It’s this big issue. Your brain is like, I don’t think I could help everyone in the world that has problems. I don’t think I know how to do that. Only experts do that. I don’t think I can help every single person. This is so hard. I need to go do more research. That’s what’s happening. Initially, when we really focus and we give equal airtime to how that’s not true. What you’ll find is that you can help at least one person right now. This is like creating that evidence, right? It’s it’s coming back to the point where you’re the prosecutor, and you’re proving that thought wrong, like well, maybe I can help one person bed. Maybe I can’t help all of the people in the whole world that might ever come to me. But maybe I can help at least one person. And so you grab on to that thought and how does that fight feel? Like think right, think about this for yourself. I know I can help at least one person right now. That feels true for you. It gives a purposeful feeling like a focused, purposeful. Yeah, I know I can help at least one person right now. And what do you do when you’re feeling purposeful like that when you’re thinking that thought? Some examples I’ve seen from my clients, when we coach on this, they follow up they instantly like will get off the coaching call and they’ll go follow up with past leads past clients, people that have reached out to them that they’ve been putting on the backburner and hiding from they’ll go follow up with them. They’ll go tell them the words I can help you. They’ll answer their questions give value to them. They will ask for client testimonials from past clients or current clients that they’ve been putting off before. They will find other practitioners to network with they will you know, a lot of times there’s like leads there that where people have reached out and said, is there an opportunity for us to collaborate or to refer people in there have been in hiding mode before and all of a sudden, they’re like, oh, yeah, I have this person I can follow up with I can respond to that email, I met this person, I could call them back. They get scrappy with reaching out to individual email subscribers, and asking what they need. This is another thing when we’re in the I’m not an expert. I’m an impostor zone. And we’re feeling hesitant and inadequate, everything seems hard, everything seems too big. But when we bring it down to I know, I can help at least one person right now, all of a sudden, you’re looking for that one person. And that’s what happens with my clients, too. They’re like, Well, I do have, you know, 20 people on my email list. They
Andrea Nordling 32:57
keep clicking on my link to book a consult, but they never booked the console. And all of a sudden, they’re like, Oh, I know what I could do, I could just reach out to them one by one, and see if I can help them because they’re having this thought I know I can help at least one person right now. So now all of a sudden the world is like full of these one people that they could help. And they’re taking all the imperfect action in service of those people that need the help. It’s all coming from like, well, of course this one person is here, I can help them. Let me go find them. You’re thinking about those results of that person that client instead of worrying about you. And that’s really the the crux of the issue here with impostor syndrome is worrying about you, how am I going to be perceived? What are people going to think about me if I do this thing, when you take yourself out of the equation, stop worrying about you, all of a sudden, you realize, oh, it’s actually about them. It’s about those people that I can help right now. And how selfish of me to be standing in my own way and not helping that person that’s waiting for me. So when you practice this thought, I know I can help one person right now, what happens is you probably help even more than that one person. Would and I see this with my clients all the time. And this is why things go really fast. When they realize this and have the thoughts switch from I don’t think I can actually help people get results to No, no, I know I can help at least one person right now. They look for the one person they find the one person they follow up with the past leads, they follow up, they do the networking with people that have reached out to them. They get scrappy, and they just make offers to people like even those individual email subscribers say the words I can help you What do you need? What happens? They simplify the process, they test it out, they take the imperfect action they’re evaluating? Well, of course, the result of that is they help even more than one person. That’s why things go really quickly. Because when you’re focusing on the one person, it grows, it’s never going to be just the one person but that’s going to inspire you to take the action that reaches more than one person. Kind of ironic, right? But it all comes from creating this evidence in your brain first, that you do know how to help at least one person right now. I know I can do that. Instead of believing that default thought that’s like I don’t think I can actually help people. I don’t think I I’m enough of an expert, I don’t think I’m ready. I don’t think I can really help. Every single person that ever comes to me, I better go learn something else. No, it’s rewiring. That too. I know I can help at least one person right now. And again, getting really comfortable with what you do know, right now in the space between the imposter and expert status. The middle ground in between all of the and make that be enough, instead of thinking that you need to graduate into the circle of expert status before you are allowed to believe that you can actually do this business before you can believe that you can actually help people before you can believe that people will buy your thing, that your business will be successful that you’re the kind of person that has success. And that follows through before you can do any of that you don’t have to be an expert, you have to just be living in the middle ground. Where there’s some of both, you can be a little bit of an impostor and a little bit of an expert at the same time. A great way to do that is to acknowledge your brain when it offers up these impostor syndrome thoughts, and it wants to put you in that box, it wants to say, Well, you’re not an expert yet. So you must be an impostor. Let’s stay there. Just acknowledge that. Seriously, I actually say things like this out loud, it’s very helpful. It sounds like thank you brain, for trying to keep you safe. You’re trying to help me avoid discomfort. By keeping me playing small, I get it. But I’ve got it from here. It’s just a conscious redirect. It’s like acknowledging I see what you’re doing. I see, I understand. Thank you. It’s coming from a loving place, I got it from here, we’re gonna do this different though, then you just take a big breath, and relax. Honestly, like take a break breath. Imagine breathing out those patterns, and realizing you’re not your thoughts. Those are just sentences in your brain. They aren’t necessarily true, they aren’t necessarily useful. You get to decide if you want to believe them, or even think them anymore. And I just wanted to offer these happy thoughts for you to chew on. On the topic of imposter syndrome, which says it’s actually not a problem. It’s an indicator that you’re on the right track. So at whatever stage of your business that this shows up for you. That’s just the big, overarching feelings of impostor syndrome and inadequacy and being a fraud, all of that. Just don’t think of it as a problem. I don’t think it’s a problem at all. I don’t think you have to solve it. I don’t think that it’s this big boulder, we need to figure out how to move out of the path so we can keep walking on the path. I think it’s a signpost that says, Okay, you’re on the right path. Just a reminder, this is part of the process when you’re in endeavouring to do something big and something really worthwhile and something really necessary, because we don’t have those impostor thoughts when we’re playing small, or keeping things really little, our goals are small, we’re not growing into the next version of ourselves. We don’t have those thoughts. They’re not even there. When we’re in our comfort zone. And we’re just maintaining that status quo. There are no imposter worries at all. Your brain is not even entertaining that you’re an impostor.
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So the fact that you are having those worries when and if you are, it’s a good thing, as far as I’m concerned, it means you’re growing, you’re challenging yourself. You’re raising your upper limits of what’s possible for you, and your capacity to be uncertain, and do the things anyway. And in my opinion, that is living a big, bold, risky, rewarding life. I think that’s what it’s all about. And by the way, you wouldn’t tell your clients any different right? You would tell them the exact same thing when you tell them it’s really not required to be an expert, or to have everything figured out. That’s the journey. It’s really is the journey is the destination you would tell your clients the same thing. I know you what. Alright, so on that note, have a wonderful, wonderful week my friend
