Andrea Nordling 0:00
Hey, welcome back to the profitable nutritionist podcast, my friend. I have such a hysterical episode for you today. So we just got done recording this I’m doing a little intro for you just still giggling about our conversation what conversation you ask, what is she? What is she teeing up here? Well, I just had the most fun zoom call with three of my business besties Laura Conley, Olivia, vizac Ro, and Priyanka Veronica Paul, and we jammed on how our lives and businesses and our clients lives been for many businesses, I’m the only business coach but for me, my clients lives and businesses have changed significantly through community and groups and being in very intentional about the rooms that we put ourselves in. So candidly, we all met together in a coaching container group, and have taken that relationship and furthered it, which you’re going to hear all about. So I’m not going to give you any spoilers, we talk all about it. But I think that you are going to get the most out of this episode for thinking about this for you and for your business. So specifically, thinking about how your business will change when you surround yourself with people that are very, very invested in their own personal development and in a shared goal with you. And then because it’s always so meta, how you will be creating that experience for your clients. What I know to be true is that most people I work with at some point in their business would like to have a group. So typically people work with one on ones or maybe even start with a group, and then have the intent if they do work with one on ones have the intention of scaling into a group program, or a digital program online course memberships, something like that in the future. But what happens is that it gets a little confusing about how to maybe not confusing, but it is definitely a skill. I don’t even know how I want to say this. But it definitely is a skill set to figure out how to create a community and a group experience for your clients, that is going to be the most impactful for them. So I know you’re going to love this episode, because it’s going to give you lots of ideas about how to create that for your clients. Whether you’re working with groups now or if that’s something that is on your future plans, you’re going to love hearing all of our different experiences with different kinds of groups, different kinds of clients, and how we have created those containers for in our businesses, but also just a really unfiltered conversation about the vulnerability of being in a group being too cool for a group being a lone wolf. And thinking that you don’t need a group not wanting to ask questions in a group thinking that like basically, that you don’t have anything to contribute to the group. Oh, my gosh, we got deep on all of it. And we’re all very honest about some of the hang ups that we have had in different groups in the past, and why we think that kind of getting over ourselves has been so transformative for our businesses in particular, you are going to love this episode, I especially am having so much fun introducing you to three of my favorite humans on the planet. We just got back from an in person trip together. So actually, as we’re recording this, we are just a few days back from spending four days together in Big Sky Montana doing business planning together. So we were all we quarterly do this we got ourselves on airplanes got out of our office met in beautiful, beautiful place in a lovely hotel. And we all brought an intentional project that we were working on in our business. So it wasn’t just a girls trip. It was very intentional, work time, creation time. And then collaboration and coaching together as well over some beautiful dinners and amazing hikes and going to Yellowstone and all the fun things. So on the heels of that trip and for us, just really being so solid in the fact that having relationships with each other and other people in our businesses that have a similar goal is so huge and just moves the needle so much faster than doing it on our own. Like as we’re so solid in that and we’re just feeling that so deeply. We wanted to create this episode together where we could share on all of our podcasts we all have podcasts. So we decided to share this episode on all of them for any you know, words of wisdom, any nuggets that any of our people can get from it, because we all have different perspectives, but definitely many shared the threads and shared themes that you’ll hear in this episode. So without further ado, listen to this lovely, lovely recap on why community will change your life and your business. And then for goodness sake, get yourself into a room like this. If you are a holistic nutritionist or a health coach that is listening to this podcast, I have that room for you, my friend. All right,
Laura Conley 4:37
enjoy. Hey guys, okay, so I’m here with my little business besties. So we’re gonna go around and introduce ourselves to you guys because guess what, we’re really smart and we’re all having this podcast on our separate podcasts. I mean, efficiency, hashtag efficiency. So for those of you that don’t don’t know me. I’m Laura Conley. I’m the host of the yummy mommy podcast. And I am a life and weight loss coach living in Boulder, Colorado with my two little babies and my husband. He’s 41 My son is three and my daughter is five. So Andrea, why don’t you go next? Take it away. Hey, how are
Andrea Nordling 5:20
ya? I’m Adrian Nordling. I am a business coach for holistic nutritionist and health coaches. And I live in Minnesota husband as well two kids 13 and 10. And I have the profitable nutritionist podcast.
Laura Conley 5:34
Hmm, so fun, Priyanka,
Priyanka Venugopal 5:37
hello, hello, I am Priyanka Venugopal. I am a mind and body health coach for high achieving professional moms. I have two little beans. One is big. He’s seven. And he’s driving me bananas, like right now. And then my four year old who is super easy. And I mean, I just, I’m having all the struggles. I live in the Washington DC area, and I am the host of the unstoppable Mom Brain podcast.
Laura Conley 6:01
I love that so good. Olivia. Hi, everyone.
Olivia Vizachero 6:05
My name is Olivia Zakho. I am a life coach for lawyers, I run the less stress lawyer and I help attorneys who are over the overwhelm live lives with less stress and far more fulfillment. I’m based out of Detroit. And I’m the host of the less stress lawyer podcast. And I’m super excited to talk to all three of you today about all the things that we’ve learned from being in communities with one another.
Priyanka Venugopal 6:29
I’m like, so excited. So excited for this, this is gonna be so fun.
Laura Conley 6:33
I’m not this is gonna suck. I was just sort of going through this. You guys are just only okay. But yeah, so we are going to talk about community connection, collaboration, and why we think it’s important and some of the stumbling block blocks that might arise and hopes that you guys, our listeners get something out of this. Because I personally do think it is like one of our basic human needs. I think it is like, what makes life so sweet and special. And I rarely rarely, I mean, this could be because I’m an extrovert, we could talk about that too. But I rarely come home from, you know, a retreat in Montana with you girls, and wish I didn’t or a coffee with a friend, even if I’m kind of dreading it or a walk or whatever it is, I rarely come home from connecting with another human and regret it. So I just want to shout it from the rooftops, especially post COVID, that I do think that this is something important like food or water or shelter. So, Olivia,
Olivia Vizachero 7:46
I totally agree with that. And just to give people who are listening context. So I’m getting ready to host an event actually, Andrea is as well in Big Sky, Montana in August. And whenever I host these retreats, I go out and I do like a reconnaissance mission. And the four of us all went last weekend and went to work on our businesses and brainstorm together and run ideas past each other and just like really be in an immersive environment where we get to focus on ourselves and that connection and exchanging ideas and deepening our relationships and being able to share parts of ourselves with one another. And through that experience of the four of us coming together and meeting up in Montana, we realized just how much of an enriching experience it is for all of us. And the fact that all four of us run group programs for our clients, same exact thing. So I think it was the Andrea who got the idea to
Andrea Nordling 8:44
I think it was Priyanka.
Priyanka Venugopal 8:46
Yeah. Yeah. You know, I was actually just gonna say I felt like these kinds of weekend getaway sometimes it turns into like friends just getting together like a girls weekend, right? Like a girls night out a girl’s weekend or like a group that just gets together in a way. That’s for fun. And this was that, but I also really feel the reason that I even thought that this would be such a great experience for our audience to hear about is there’ll be had some hard conversations. I don’t think that you know, when you think about a weekend getaway and a girls night out, you don’t always have challenging conversations that is going to level up your results that you have in your business, in your life, for your body, for your mind. And I feel like the four of us got together. And we had just like Brain exploding conversations that I think pushed all of us. And that was what I thought was just something worth sharing that it’s not always easy to put ourselves in groups and to share vulnerably but because the four of us all have similar goals, and that we want to expand our reach, we want to expand our orbit. I feel like we did that because we put ourselves together with other people that had similar goals. That doesn’t happen very easily.
Laura Conley 9:54
Yeah, I was actually a little nervous about that. And even my coach called me out. It was like Oh, Okay, yeah, let me know how that goes. I mean, she didn’t say it in those words. But I think she had the same thought of like, oh, it’s totally going to just be a girls weekend and I do to your point, Priyanka, I think it is so important to have those girls weekends for sure. But like, how rich and how like lucky are we and we’re not just lucky, because you know, anyone listening? You guys can put yourselves in these rooms, too. But to be able to put yourself in a room where somebody like loves you enough that they’re willing to ask the hard question and have the hard conversation in the name of your future self in the name of your growth is like, pretty freakin special. Oh, my gosh.
Andrea Nordling 10:40
Yeah. Oh, I
just dumped it on your printer. I’m sorry. So yeah, I’m curious for you guys, if you have the same experience, but I like I love people, my friends I’ve had for a really long time. I have, you know, history with lots of people love them. But I don’t have these kinds of conversations that we have with anybody else in my life. And I wonder, I don’t know. Like, I’m wondering as you’re saying that. And when Priyanka and Laura were like, as you were saying that I was just thinking about it. And I’m like, oh, like, is it because we have just the best group ever? Or is there something to be said for kind of like, I don’t know, a curated, goal focused group, like it’s a different experience, like we’re all here, working on some version of the same goal. And you can just like leave all of the past behind, and there’s like, no stories, and nobody knows your backstory unless you want to tell it to them. It’s not that we don’t do that. But it’s like, it like really is the future you that you’re that you’re talking about that you’re like, exploring, and I don’t know, it’s just so different. I don’t even know how to articulate it. But I think you guys know what I mean, it is so different. Yeah,
Olivia Vizachero 11:39
I think one of the things that we see in all of the groups that we run as well, right, it’s like everyone there has a common aim, whether you’re trying to lose weight, or you’re building a business or like me, I focus on working with attorneys or former attorneys, people have this shared experience. And I was really thinking about in anticipation for us recording this, what have I found so beneficial about also being in rooms with people who are really similar to me. And I agree, I definitely don’t have a lot of these conversations with the other people in my life. But I also think it takes pressure off of the other people in my life, because I stop looking for the people in my life who aren’t like me, like our family members, or our friends from back home. They’re not entrepreneurs, they don’t understand the same struggles that I face every day, or the challenges or the goals that I’m working towards. So they can’t really converse with me and as meaningful as a way as you guys can. And I think like, whenever you’re inserting yourself into a group, where there’s that common goal, whatever the goal is, if you’re dealing with the same struggles, you’re encountering the same obstacles, you’re going to have these questions. And it takes that pressure off the rest of your relationships. So like, whether it’s your spouse, or your mom, or your sister or your friend, like you can just enjoy those people, rather than needing something from them that they’re really not capable of providing you. That’s so
Priyanka Venugopal 13:04
good. Yeah, that’s so good. And I also, I’m curious how you guys feel about this. But when I am talking to my husband, for example, about a goal that I have, he kind of wants to, like, motivate me and push me like, yeah, you can do it. And he might be very practically minded around, like, what my obstacles might be. So my husband is a good sounding board. He’s meant to be a partner, but he’s very practically minded. And when I’m with the three of you, what I’ve noticed is, I will be sharing a map to me in my mind, a massive obstacle, what seems like the biggest shit show, that’s about sorry, you know, I don’t know if we’re progressing or not, but, like, the biggest way live of crap, right? So the big
iron mine, I’m gonna have to edit that out. I’m gonna have to charge you for that. Charge for
edit, edit out the crap. So like, I when I talk to you and say crap, oh, crap, we’re not gonna say then we never like really holding back. I don’t even know what we’re going to say. Or that. So when we have like talking about our serious obstacles, I don’t you’re not all the three of you guys are not telling me what is practically available to me. When I was talking with when we were in Montana, and I’m telling you this is what I’m struggling with. This is what I’m dealing with. These are my obstacles. The three of you would ask me questions, and the conversation would go in a direction where you had my highest belief in your mind. You were like Priyanka, you’re so capable. Like, if you look at your like, what Andrea was saying, your future self, the future part of you that’s like, this is solved. And this is done. The way that you guys kind of have that conversation with me is from that lens. And I don’t get that anywhere, except being in business coaching containers and in coaching containers that have that highest belief and the four of us have all invested seriously in group coaching containers. And I think that that shows that we take this seriously, which I think was the foundation for us to even have some of these conversations.
Andrea Nordling 14:56
Yeah, I don’t think that I mean, for me that did not come easily. I would be curious what you guys think about that. But I, I really resisted investing in any sort of community for a very long time.
Laura Conley 15:07
Yeah, I want to go to that topic, because I think that that’s huge for a lot of the people listening, it’s it’s definitely a barrier. And it’s worth getting over because of all the benefits. And I just real quick want to speak to what Priyanka was saying, because it came up when Olivia was talking, and even Andrea before that, like this idea that when you put yourself in a room with other people with this shared vision, or shared goal, you have like, say, if you’re a Yummy Mummy, you have 29 Other yummy mummies, or however many are in the group, holding the vision, like it’s kind of a cheesy way of saying it, but you have like 29 Other women holding the vision for you, even if it feels like unrealistic. And I think back to like, our basic need as humans, I think why connection is such a basic need is to feel not alone. And it can feel so lonely when it comes to weight loss or being stressed at your job or wanting to build your business as an entrepreneur and in the nutrition world, or whatever. And so I think if you you are in a container where you don’t number one, you don’t feel alone, and then you have 29 other people or however many whatever, holding that vision for you. It like it like circumvents the doubt and the disbelief that comes up. Like I have big goals for my business. And if I’m in doubt you three are like holding the vision for I can like be in doubt and disbelief and like wanting to cry and like quit my business and go to the pool every day with my kids. And you guys just sort of think it’s cute. And like, you’re like, okay, yeah, like that’s cute and normal. And you helped me through it versus like, if I were just on an island, I probably would be at like sunset pool right now. You know, and so I think that’s like a huge benefit. And so it’s almost like, I kind of want to sell our audience of people listening on why these communities are so amazing why this connection is so amazing. So that they want to have the motivation to get over their own BS, like, which I think all of us are at least you three. I was like, you know, going to sleepaway camp when I was seven, I loved groups from the get go. But if we can, like sell the audience’s on, like why being in a group is so worth it. And then talk about kind of some of the obstacles that we had to overcome, maybe we can, you know, convince people to get in a group setting. So I just wanted to kind of put that out there.
Priyanka Venugopal 17:42
Just like one real quick thing to kind of follow up. And I definitely want to get back to Andrea’s initial thing about investing in a group for sure. The one thing that kind of Laura, what you were just touching on is this idea of being in a group and supported by the group vision. I think the other thing that I have found, and I noticed this when I transitioned from one on one to a small intimate group that I did not get with one on one, when I had one on one clients, like a client can be in their in their problem, right? They’re looking at their pile of crap, and they’re trying to navigate it and create a moot like to try to move forward. But when you’re in a group setting, and you see that you’re not alone in the crap, that it’s not a unique defect of yours. It’s not that you’re uniquely incapable that you’re not uniquely not skilled at solving this problem that Oh, actually, I just have a human brain like every other person in this room. I’m not alone in the struggle. I think that being validated in that is deeply impactful in solving the problem. When you feel like you’re alone in not solving a problem that is a barrier that I think is really hard to overcome. And being in a group. I think, naturally, I love obliterating things that just naturally obliterates you putting yourself on your own island, which I think is priceless. I totally
Olivia Vizachero 18:54
agree with that. And as the three of you were talking one thing that really jumped out at me, and I do want to make sure that this is really clear for the people who are listening, the four of us are all coaches, right. So I don’t want people to hear this and think that like, oh, I can just gather three of my friends. And we can have this incredible experience, like if that’s possible for you amazing. But like all four of us are professionally trained to be able to hold belief and to be able to identify someone else’s limiting beliefs, and to be able to ask those questions that really probe at the heart of the issue. So there’s two components here. There’s the community support that you get from being in a group setting. Absolutely. But it’s also being curated by a coach, which is what the four of us all do for our respective audiences is that we curate this experience where we’re holding belief we’re teaching a group how to hold belief collectively for other people. So yeah, as much as it’s amazing to you know, rely on your friends. We have the You extreme good fortune to all the coaches and friends as well. So we’re able to create this experience that I think a lot of people don’t get unless they invest in coaching containers run by a coach, which is definitely how I first invested in a group coaching experience was paying and working with a coach and joining a community that someone else curated that was already set up to enable my growth.
Laura Conley 20:28
That’s huge. That’s huge, because I don’t know Priyanka, if you’ve seen this in weight loss, and I know that this happens in the workplace and with business, if you get a group of friends together, and you can, you can get a group of friends together, and you guys can have this shared vision. But then what happens, this was what used to happen with me with weight loss, I used to like get all these games going, and all these bets going with all my friends, we want to lose weight. And then we’re like all rah rah, and then they’re not doing it. And I’m like, Well, fuck, then I have, then I’m like, well, they’re not doing it. So like, I’m gonna quit too. And it’s like, this false accountability, it like doesn’t actually work. And then you are the ones suffering because you thought you did it, and then they’re quitting, and you’re using it as an excuse to quit, too. So to your point, Olivia, like, I think, friend groups and accountability groups can be great, but I just haven’t seen them really work and less like you’re invested energetically, financially, right? timewise, too. So it’s like
Priyanka Venugopal 21:27
fun. I think when you have that, like group of friends that you’re having a shared common goal with, there’s an aspect of fun that gets infused into the process. But I think when you have not invested and by investing, I don’t just mean financially, I think you have to decide to invest your time, your energy and your bandwidth as well. In the shared goal, I It’s like, the first thing that’s going to go is somebody’s going to drop off, like somebody’s going to drop off. And if we’ve attached our results with the accountability of a group it it’s like a surefire way to not hit your goal. If you haven’t invested seriously, I think that’s kind of what we’re talking about why we invest in seriously but Andrew, you’re saying you hesitated. Oh, yeah, investing. So what was what was your hesitation? No,
Andrea Nordling 22:12
no, no. Let me clarify, not hesitating on joining up coaching container or a group, but I just didn’t think I needed the group. I was like, I just want this strategy here. I just want that coach, I want the to like learn the things. I don’t actually need to know these people. Like, I don’t need to know, like, I have friends. I’m good. And I think and I’ve been trying to like really pinpoint what the thought is here as we’ve been talking because I’m like, I want to be honest about it. I got the thought was like, if I’m if I engage in the group, like, this is how I’m terrible. I’m just gonna be like, I’m not gonna get anything from it. And this is gonna take a lot of time. So it seemed like a big investment. timewise it was like, I mean, you know, I already have friends. Like, that’s great.
Priyanka Venugopal 23:00
How did you get over that? Like, because that’s a that’s like a real? Like, how did you get yourself across the law? How did you get yourself across that line? But hold on,
Laura Conley 23:08
she’s totally telling you the truth too, because I don’t think I even fucking knew you. And you know, like, round three of the containers. We’re just like, over there on the corner. And then I’m gonna wait, who is this sleeper? cooltech
Andrea Nordling 23:22
doing? Like not I know, right? Like, my open sign was not on it was I was close for friendships totally closed. I’m very busy. I’m very focused. Nobody around anymore. It totally. I was an idiot, because this is the best part of the group is having the group. Yeah, so I just, I’ll be totally honest. So I didn’t I just thought that was like a fluffy extra if you need accountability. And I think as I’m, like hearing you talk about accountability groups, I’ve never identified with needing external accountability. So I think like, that’s what I thought a group was is like, oh, a group is for people that like, don’t get themselves to do things on their own. And I totally do. So I don’t need that. So I just was like, mentally opted out on any benefit that that could possibly bring to me. And I was so incredibly wrong, because the friendships that we have made, and even I mean, it doesn’t even have to be a friendship. Luckily, we are all actually friends. Like, I believe we will be friends forever. We do amazing things together, we get to like, enjoy as our businesses get bigger. And as we do all this cool shit, we get to celebrate with each other. And I think that that will continue forever. But I’ve met so many people amidst these communities I’ve now been part of that maybe aren’t gonna be like friends of mine forever. But still, those relationships are so valuable in other ways. And I’m so glad that I got out of my own way and got over myself to experience that.
Priyanka Venugopal 24:39
How did you get over it? Like, what did you finally tell yourself like, when you when you were like, You know what I’m considering this investment, but I don’t know whether the group is going to be valuable for me. How did you get yourself across that line?
Andrea Nordling 24:51
So I always thought the group would be valuable. I just didn’t think I would really participate in the group. I think I think it was very selfish, like I’ll get what I need, but I don’t need to engage Ah, if I’m being honest, some version of that, I mean, that sounds awful. But there’s some version of that it was like, yeah, like, I’ll just do my thing over here the lone wolf. That’s cool.
Priyanka Venugopal 25:08
How do I check the loan? Cool check on the side. But nobody knew
Andrea Nordling 25:12
I was cool because I was so because I was like, so quiet. I wasn’t telling you how cool I was, I was being so quiet. Okay, so being in person, the honest answer there is being in person, when we started doing in person events together and COVID was over. And that like that was a game changer. Because in like, given the opportunity, I will totally like jump in, in a group, I just would not prioritize that online. And I do think I really missed the boat. Because I don’t think there’s any comparison to being in person versus being online. Like, as far as connecting with people, I think in person hands down is a completely different experience. However, when you’re intentional about it, you can have an experience like that online, you just have to be intentional. And I wasn’t until we were in person together.
Laura Conley 25:58
So it just kind of happened naturally for you. Like, once you were in the group, you’re like, Okay, I’ll just do this group. And I’ll take the things that I can get business wise. And then when you were in person, it sort of just took care of itself. Totally. But I know that we have some people on this zoom call that want to share about what they might have been scared about, like in terms of like actually joining a group like because there does take a level of vulnerability like putting yourself in that. Space. Olivia, do you want to speak to that?
Olivia Vizachero 26:29
Yeah. So I see this with my clients, too. I if I’m being completely transparent, and I think this is like the honesty hour for sure for all of us. The three of us, not Laura, because she loves groups. But
Laura Conley 26:42
I love to lie to I don’t like telling the truth. Though,
Olivia Vizachero 26:48
I really love to be in my expert energy. And most people don’t see me as shy. But I tell people all the time in a group setting, I’m a little bit of a wallflower. Just because I love to always be the expert. I don’t love to need things from other people. I don’t love to have questions, I like to appear like I have it all figured out. So I can definitely hide in a room. Priyanka is also raising your hand. And that’s so many she gets it too. And, you know, I think like when you’ve been a high performer like in your past life, I’m a former attorney like you get used to that role. And I see it with my clients all the time, like not everyone, but there are certain people in my group, like they love to be in their helpful expert energy as well. And they don’t raise their hand and they don’t end up getting as much value out of the opportunity is so for me, and, you know, I think this is true for everyone here, but like my program is set up where people can continue to re enroll. And one of the things that I learned through my own process of re enrolling in the coaching container that we were all together, and was that as I got more familiar, like I was like, Andrea, I came for the content I came for, like the tactics and the skills and the strategy from the coach. But then, as you stay in the same container, time in round after round after round, like you’ve already kind of learned that stuff. So if you want to keep growing, I think the way you utilize a program changes. So for me, I it kind of dawned on me like two things. Number one, and I see this with people too, if you get bored in a group coaching program, and you’re not raising your hand, that is a red flag that you are hiding. And I have people say that to me, they’re like, I don’t always love listening to like everyone else deal with their stuff. I’m like, amazing, what would you like to get coached on and they’re like, I have to get coached, like, I get the desire to hide. But that was true for me too. I was like, Oh, my next level of growth is to feel exposed and to feel embarrassed and to allow myself to be seen and known. And that imperfect version of myself the version that needs help. And then also just learning to utilize and see the people that are in this group with me as a valuable resource. Sort of like what Andrew was saying. It’s like, I didn’t really think I could benefit either. And I was happy to contribute, but I didn’t think I was gonna get a lot in return. But the only way that that’s true is if you don’t engage in the process, like if you talk to people, then you will learn from them and they will share different perspectives with you and it will be super beneficial. But you have to allow yourself to be vulnerable and exposed. And for me, that was really life changing work for me if I’m being really honest, I think it was this ancillary benefit that came from joining a group program but I think that is where my true growth was of like learning how to stop being such perfectionist and needing to have everything figured out and allowing myself to be as much of a student as I like to be an expert.
Priyanka Venugopal 29:56
I feel I was like shaking my head so much as Olivia was talking because I Think, particularly as you know, in my physician life, I always had the mindset of, like, I need to have all the answers. And it was just like a part of my identity was being someone that always had the answers. If you come to me with a problem, I will give you an answer. And it should be the right answer. It should be the best answer, it should be an answer that changes your life. And I think the biggest transformation for me and what I’ve had to contend with coming into a group is I am coming into this group container not having all the answers. Like, that’s actually why I’m putting myself in these containers because I want to grow past the answers I have already come up with, if I had solved my problem, I would have already solved it. So I’m putting myself in a container saying, I don’t have certain answers being in this group is going to push me to figure out those answers. And I think the hardest, the vulnerable part for me was knowing that I’m asking for help. It was like, there was a part of me that felt like, oh, like, I’m supposed to have figured this out by myself, especially again, I think high achieving professionals, this was again, my identity for so so long that, you know, ask for help is kind of weak, like maybe doesn’t mean you’re kind of lazy, like you should have figured this out. Maybe you’re just not disciplined that you didn’t figure this out. And the idea of asking for, quote, unquote, help, I think implied in my mind that I hadn’t figured something else out that everybody else had. So that’s what felt vulnerable. For me. It wasn’t I didn’t mind sharing my story. I didn’t mind sharing even the mistakes that I had made. But when it was like, wait, I’m saying that I don’t know the answer to something that would strike a chord. And that has been like, I think, as an entrepreneur, I have not known the answer from day one. Because I’ve never been an entrepreneur before, before starting this business. So for me, my vulnerability was saying, I do not know the answer. But also knowing this is an opportunity to go figure it out. I think that that’s kind of what helped me bridge my gap, that putting myself here is going to help me figure it out, which was so helpful for me.
Laura Conley 31:55
I think that our whole culture is set up like that, like, Yeah, can you lose weight on your own? Like, maybe? Can you build your business on your own? Maybe can you become less stressed as a lawyer, like, maybe, I don’t know. I mean, I had tried it by myself, the weight loss thing, you know, 72 different times that literally, and I still had this voice in the back of my head, like, Yo, you could do it on your own, you can do it on your own, you could do it on your own, was until I put myself in a group that I actually did it once and for all i could nail in coffin, and I don’t know where we think we’re getting this badge of honor that, like we can do it on our own, or we should be able to do it on our own. And it’s like, okay, for me, I actually love groups. So it’s like, whether you love a group or not, it doesn’t really matter. I mean, that’s kind of just like an added bonus, I guess, if you love groups, because you should obviously just like put yourself on a group, if you want to achieve anything. But like, yeah, so maybe you do have a goal. And maybe you can do it on your own. But like, what about this idea of like, making it easy? Like, it’s so much easier. And that’s another badge of honor, I think that we want to wear, like I do it on my own, I get a badge of honor. And it’s really hard. And so then I get a badge of honor. And I’m like, What about the badge of honor of like putting yourself in a group asking for help? And making it easy, because when you put yourself at a group, it’s so much easier to achieve your goal. So for me now, it’s like, okay, yeah, maybe I can do it on my own. I’m not really exactly sure. But let’s even give it to me. Okay, I could do it on my own. Why would I want to do it on my own, it’s going to be harder, I want it to be easier. And for me, it’s going to be way more fun. When that’s like all I’m about if I do it in a group, so it’s to your point, Priyanka, it’s like, yeah, we could do it on our own. Yeah, like maybe we should know all the answers, but we don’t work. We’re literally human beings, like we are designed to do life together. Like literally we are tribal freaking species. Here we are. It’s our biology. Okay. Olivia. Talk.
Olivia Vizachero 34:10
So I think one of the other reasons because, like my brain, I get so logical. I’m like, Okay, but why does it happen faster or easier in a group and one of the transformations for me, number one, I am not a hand raiser. So there are things even if I was working with someone one on one that like I might not feel comfortable bringing up okay to like Priyanka said, like, and what I mean by that is, someone else might bring it up and you’re like, Oh, my God, thank God, you asked that question, because like, I’m too embarrassed to ask the question, but I’m so glad you did. And then you learn from that because someone else is maybe a little bit more brave than you. Or people bring stuff up, you don’t even realize is a struggle for you. And you’re like, Oh, I would have never thought to bring that up and it would have never come out of a one on one coaching container. Because you didn’t realize that that struck a chord or resonated with you, but I think The thing that was most transformational for me, and I would say like my first group experience was with the Life Coach School was self coaching scholars and being on those calls, and I like never ever, ever raised my hand and I would just listen to other people get coached. And I see this with my clients as well. It’s why I’m such an advocate of group coaching now is because you don’t have the can’t see the forest through the trees perspective, when it’s someone else’s issue if you’re dealing with the same or a similar thing, but someone else is working through it and getting coached on it. The answer, and the path forward is so abundantly clear, it’s like, Oh, my God, this is so obvious. You just do that, or like you just think this way. And like that’s a thought. And that’s the circumstance and like, this is where you’re going wrong. And you’re just like, da, don’t you get it. And then you have this like little breakthrough moment where you’re like, shit, if that’s true for them, that’s probably true for me, too. And then it clicks. And I think you just start to one of the things that I teach my clients to do is like, use other people as examples. What do other people get upset about? What do other people get hurt about? What do other people get overwhelmed about and to watch their thinking around it. So you can see, they’re causing this experience for themselves. And that’s just such a takeaway that I got from being in a group program. And I think I learned those lessons so much faster, because I didn’t have the emotional tie to their situation. Yeah, has happened so much more,
Laura Conley 36:31
it’s so much faster, because you’re like, not in it. You know, like, when you do get coached you oftentimes, this is me, at least I have to go back and watch it. Because like, sometimes, I just like, Blackout. So don’t be like yeah, so yeah, when you’re watching someone else get coached, you’re not in the blackout space, you’re in a space of like total like reception, like you can receive all the goodness and to your point Olivia to I think, yeah, like you might be struggling with something, you might not be able to articulate it. And you might struggle with that thing in a week or a month, and you don’t even know that struggle is on the horizon. But then all of a sudden, you have the answer to that struggle, when you find yourself in it in a week. So I think it’s like cool, you know, it’s almost like preventative in a way to
Andrea Nordling 37:19
orderly prevent, I hear my clients say that all the time. They’re like, Oh, my gosh, I can’t like this coaching call was so great. I don’t have to make that mistake now. Because I heard about like, I didn’t even know that was coming. And I don’t have to make that mistake. Totally preventative. I love that.
Priyanka Venugopal 37:32
Yeah, there were two things that I’ve noticed come up in, in my groups. One is, I’ve had so many times a client will like separately message me and say, if you change the time in the place of what that person got coached on, that was me. And I had no idea that that was a struggle that I was having. So a lot of what I coach on is working mom life. So like relationships and work life time productivity, and like connection with your partner with your kids. And there are certain times that I think people feel, I think it’s a vulnerability and sharing a perceived weakness, whether it’s in their relationship, or maybe at work. And when they hear somebody else get coached on their marriage on their kids on their time or on their productivity, they feel not only seen and heard, but they really feel like they just got an answer to something that they didn’t know was a problem. They’re like, wait a second, Oh, I like I have been feeling so disconnected. That’s what that is like when they hear somebody else being coached like, oh, kind of Lord, to your point, like they’re able to receive the coaching because they’re not the one being coached, they’re able to observe it so much more clearly that like, oh, that’s what that feeling has been for me, I’ve been feeling overwhelmed. Oh, I’ve been feeling so disconnected from my partner, I’ve been feeling so stressed at work. And all of a sudden, they’re able to take the coaching that somebody else gets and change the time and the place, and they can absolutely apply it to their life, which has been so so so huge.
Laura Conley 38:54
So I want to know, we’ve talked a lot about ourselves. We’ve talked about our clients to a lot. But do you guys have any fun stories like from your clients, of how they’ve changed by being in a group or you know, like, what have you seen the impact of the group dynamic on your clients specifically, because clearly we are benefiting from it?
Andrea Nordling 39:21
Oh, let me go
Olivia Vizachero 39:21
first. Yeah, so I think two big takeaways, number one with my clients, there’s a sense of isolation. So even if you’re not like a solo attorney, and you work in a firm or you work for a corporation as like an in house attorney, you’re really stuck in this keeping up appearances space, and you are never really able to be fully vulnerable and talk to people about what you’re struggling with. That was definitely my experience when I practice law as well. I felt very isolated. So I think number one, just having a sense of like belonging and support and being able to be honest and open like that is a game Change your for people on your isolation levels. And just like your connectedness and how you feel going through your career, I think the other thing that my people struggle with so significantly, they think they are unicorns and they have so much shame around struggling with the things that they struggle with. And they think they’re only it’s only them. They’re the only ones with these problems. And when I work with people one on one, I would say over and over again until I’m like blue in the face. I’m like, I coach on this literally every day, multiple times a day, I talked to people about procrastination, I talk to people about people pleasing, I talk to people about perfectionism, like, this is my mainstay of the coaching that I do everyone that I work with struggles with this stuff, but they don’t see it themselves. So I think they think that I’m just blowing smoke up their ass, I’m not. But I think that’s how they take it. And then they hear other people actually struggle with it when they’re in a group setting. And it creates the sense of like, not normal, because they don’t really believe in like their being a normal thing. But that like there’s something not abnormal about them also, like they’re not a unicorn, they struggle with the same things everyone else struggles with, it’s very common, there’s no reason to be ashamed. And most of what, my people, I think this is true for all of us, the reason they’re struggling with something is because they’ve never learned it before.
Laura Conley 41:22
Exactly, absolutely.
Olivia Vizachero 41:25
And my people have so much shame, they’re like, they think they should have known it or learned it before. And I’m like, you wouldn’t expect to know like Spanish if you had never been taught Spanish. And you wouldn’t expect to know calculus, if no one had taught you calculus, like so much of what I teach, whether it’s emotional management, or time management, you know, goal setting, and achievement, all of that stuff, setting boundaries, like if you’ve never been taught it, you’re not going to know how to do it. So you want to put yourself in a room where other people just like you also haven’t learned it and you get to learn it together as quickly as possible.
Laura Conley 41:59
Yeah, I feel like this question should like bring us home and wrap up our episode. So let’s definitely hear from Andrea, she was gonna talk about it too.
Andrea Nordling 42:07
Yeah, I think for my clients like community being in a being in a group. Like they literally share resources. So this is something I see all the time is people not reinventing the wheel. So like my coaching business, and specifically people come to me because I’m not on social media. And a lot of people are drawn to that when building a business without being on social media. So my community tends to be kind of the anti establishment like this. These are my people. I love it for lots of different reasons. So inside of that community, like just having people with shared values and shared ideas and goals, like we’ve already talked about huge, but just pragmatically, like sharing resources, like how do you actually do this? Who do you work with? Or SEO? Like, how do you like ahead, someone? Oh, my gosh, just the most amazing conversation recently in our group around collecting testimonials. And she’s like, Oh, I have a great process for getting video testimonials for my clients. I’ll share it with you. And it’s like this huge google doc of exactly how it goes. Like just things like that. That’s like, yes, we don’t have to all be by ourselves. figuring this out on our own, Laura, like you said, like, there’s no badge of honor in figuring it out. Of course, you can figure out how to get testimonials. And you can take years and years to get your process. But having somebody be like, tried and true. Here you go. So great. So like sharing resources, huge win for community for my people. And like I have experienced that. I know, we’ve all experienced that. We love that. So that’s a big one. And then kind of like Olivia said, I think just normalizing the ups and downs of whatever goal we’re working towards, like so for us, it’s business, whether it’s health goals, or relationship goals, personal goals, like whatever it is, when you’re surrounded by people that are invested in personal development. They’re like reading books about personal development, they’re interested, that’s just a different conversation that’s going to be taking place in that group. Of course, it’s facilitated by a coach, hopefully, that’s going to have their own tools and their own, you know, frameworks like we all do, which is really helpful too. But just being around people that are asking different questions than maybe in the rest of our life and the rest of our relationships. Like that’s just a goldmine for sure.
Laura Conley 44:10
Oh, it’s so true. I remember going on a girls trip with like a new kind of group of friends like about a year ago and I remember coming home feeling like really let down like I haven’t like I made it like because the conversations like just were not dynamic and for my besties will say, I’m not talking about you I’m talking about another trip. It’s not you it’s them. Yeah, but I remember feeling really locked down just because the conversations were just not dynamic. They didn’t like light me up like once like these do so I think that’s that’s so cool. preoccupying for me.
Priyanka Venugopal 44:51
Yeah, for me in this is like for me putting myself into a group and I think what I’m really seeing for my clients and what I really want for The universe of humans is being willing to get shit wrong all the time and not quitting. I, again, because of what I was saying to you guys before, I’ve always kind of prided myself on having the right answer, knowing the right thing, not needing help. And the biggest pivot I’ve had to make both in reaching my ideal weight and in really becoming an entrepreneur after being a physician, is the willingness, the willingness to just get it wrong all the time. And a concept that I teach is leveraging mistakes. So how can you be so willing to get it wrong, and so willing to keep going and then leverage every single mistake you ever made? If you don’t ever quit? And you leverage every single mistake? Do you know how far you would get? It’s like, your goal is inevitably done. That Done and done. So I think it’s that piece, just like I am so much more willing now. I mean, I still hate getting stuff wrong. Let me be totally honest. I hate getting stuff wrong. I hate when I mess up. I hate it. You
mean about you, though, pre. I
mean, I like I just, I’m like, just like this, like, you know, we Cuban. But I think again, like what if that might be my tendency forever, to hate making mistakes. And also, I hate make mistakes, but I’m just willing to do it. I’m so willing to do it and leverage it and put myself out there and be embarrassed, feel like crap. And then like, solve the problem, I would rather solve the problem and be embarrassed and not solve the problem and just like sit in my quiet bubble and live with the undesired result. So that’s
Laura Conley 46:27
yeah, like, that’s so good. Because it’s like you’re making it and like, when you whoever’s listening, like you, Priyanka, via Andrea, our audience is whatever. But when you put yourself in these containers, and these rooms, whatever, in these groups, it’s like, you’re making it almost impossible to quit, which is, like, so valuable, so valuable. And so for me, like with my clients, I think like, one of the thoughts that they have, and they continually say over and over again, is like, if she can do it, so can I, like if she can do it, so can I and it’s like, so they’re constantly like passing the torch like back and forth, I swear to God, especially with weight loss, because like, I’m always teaching like, it’s two steps forward, one step back, or three steps forward, seven steps back, whatever, right? Like, and but there’s always somebody that’s holding the torch, right? And then it just this dynamic, cool thing of like, again, holding the vision and believing in each other. So it just doesn’t get dropped in and you can’t, and you can’t quit. So that’s what I would have to say in terms of just how impactful like I’ve even said, to clients, because I’ll get clients sometimes I’ve been please work with me one on one, like, please. And I’ve even said, like, you know, I don’t know if this is forever, maybe I’ll do one on ones like later and later in life or whatever. But like right now, for me, it feels a bit out of integrity for me with weight loss just because of the results that I’ve seen. So I’m so committed to the groups because of that. So I feel like this really brings us home. Why don’t we go around and tell the audiences how they can find all of us because they probably became obsessed with all of us and they want to stalk us now. So Olivia, tell us how we can find you.
Olivia Vizachero 48:17
Yeah, you can find me I’m on LinkedIn and Instagram. So LinkedIn under my name, Olivia. vizac. Ro, Instagram under the handle the less stressed lawyer that’s also the name of my podcast and the name of my website. The last stressed
Laura Conley 48:30
lawyer.com So good. Andrea,
Andrea Nordling 48:33
love it. Okay, so I mean, Andrea Nordling. You can not find me on social media. I’m hidden from everyone. No, actually, this late breaking news new LinkedIn profile has been going oh, I know. I know. By the time this episode goes live, I’ll get my shit together and you’ll be able to find the profitable nutritionist on LinkedIn. And we’re the profitable nutritionist podcast the profitable nutritionist.com Love
it Priyanka.
Priyanka Venugopal 49:03
Oh good. So I am the unstoppable Mom Brain everywhere on the internet. That’s my website, the unstoppable mom brain.com It’s my podcast. And it is exactly what I go by on Instagram. So you’ll stop them wandering all over the place.
Laura Conley 49:17
Oh, that’s so good. So easy. Okay, and I am Alarcon, that you guys can find me at law or calmly.com or lar calmly coaching on Instagram. And my podcast is the yummy mommy podcast with Laurie Conley. And that is c o n l EY. That’s how you spell my last name. There’s no extra ends or ELLs or ease or any letters, just c o n le y.
Andrea Nordling 49:39
That does it.
Laura Conley 49:41
Does anybody have any last things they want to say? It was totally fun.
Olivia Vizachero 49:45
I have one thing I want to add. I do it. The theme that I noticed from most of us at least, is you really need to put yourself in a group program to figure out how it Exactly, it’s valuable for you trust that it will be valuable. But it’s going to be one of those things that you’re not exactly going to know how it’s going to change your life until you’re in it. And if you tend to be a hesitate, or I’m not, I’m pretty impulsive. So like, I’ll just make a quick decision and, and go for it. I think Andrea is probably like, pretty decisive, just from what I know about her, too. But if you find yourself hesitating, I just really want to encourage you like, listen to the four of us, we’ve all had such extremely positive experiences, from going through group programs. Take, if you feel like it’s a risk, take the risk and just invest, you’re gonna get so much out of it, but you have to go through it in order to learn that.
Andrea Nordling 50:44
It’s so good. It’s so true to it’s just like, it’s gonna be the mystery. It’s like the mystery present that you don’t know what you’re gonna open at the end. Like, I know that I’m going to do this and I don’t know like, what my prize is going to be at the end. But I’m going to learn something about myself and get something really great out of this. I don’t even know what it is yet. So good.
Priyanka Venugopal 51:01
I’d like I also think just one less thing that high achievers love the feeling of certainty. And I think sometimes the reason we hesitate specifically if it’s foreign investment, like financial investment, if you’re not used to investing in yourself as you’re waiting to feel certain and I think the biggest most bitter pill I had to swallow was you can’t actually have certainty. I know all humans want it high achievers wanted, but what would it look like if you felt certainty in yourself? Knowing that you are going to figure out how to get your ROI in whichever group you put yourself in. That’s what you that’s what you get to control. You don’t actually get to control anything else. I it’s like, I really feel like I’m you. I’m curious. You guys feel like you hesitate when you feel uncertain. And we’re like trying to feel certain that’s why we hesitate. What if you just didn’t worry about feeling uncertain? Let’s take action.
Laura Conley 51:47
Yeah, it’s totally just a part of life. Yeah. No such thing as certainty anyways. All right, you guys that does it. I love everybody. I don’t have anything else to say.
Priyanka Venugopal 52:00
Oh, god, you guys. This is so fun. I love it. We did it.
